I too give speeches to students

Today President Barack Obama gave a speech to students. Later today, I will be giving a little talk to students as well. I never thought that I'd have a day similar to a president's. I wonder if he had a few drinks at a tranny bar last night too?

Young kids freak me out. Specially nowadays. I know way too much about my teenage cousins, that's only because they spill their guts out on Myspace. 

My high school years weren't as bad as my fellow guetto nerdians. That was only because I had the ability to get out of bad situations due to my awesome ability to make fun of myself. Somehow I managed to be a prom king.

Well, that time is gone. I don't think I have that ability to connect with the young peeps. 

But since I will be talking to AB 540 students, I think I will feel more at home. These are my fellow guetto nerdians and their desire to go to college is bigger than any typical rage that teenagers have against anyone over 25. 

El Presidente to give speech to students

"Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength."

-President Barack Obama

Easy for him to say that when you've got the Secret Service behind your back. How can you say no to a man who's being followed around by men with guns. But he's got a point. 

I just read President Barack Obama's prepared comments for tomorrow's speech. And let me tell you something: it's not that bad. 

He makes a few points regarding struggling kids who manage to go to college no matter how bad they have it at home. Or if they have a disease. Or if English is not their first language. I really hoped he'd added all them DREAM Act kids and the AB 540 students in grad school, but maybe that's just going too far. 

The quote above came directly from the speech. I know it can be extremely hard to ask for help. I should know. As a student journalist, you're constantly drilled about the importance of asking for help when you're not familiar with a certain subject. Nobody is born knowing about everything, except my mother. That lady knows it all. 

Asking for help ain't easy. But not asking any questions at all can be even harder.

I really hope that kids across the nation listen up and fully devour this speech. Whether Obama has a "hidden agenda" behind this speech, them kids should indeed stay away from the Xbox and pick up a book or two and better their grammar. God knows I need to. 

So, kids listen up:

1) Check out Obama's speech tomorrow from a Virginia high school

2) Stay away from that Xbox at least for a couple of hours

3) Pick up a good book

4) Make Julio sound less preachy

Feeling the pressure

This whole fundraiser is extremely humbling. Though I must not see it from a I-am-begging-for-money-to-go-to-school perspective, sometimes is just hard not to see it that way.

These damn budget cuts and fee increases have me freaking out. I can feel the pressure. The days seem to be running by extremely fast. August 31st is soon approaching and I've yet to come up with the cash to pay for school.

Though the fundraiser is a good idea, it's still very frustraiting that I have to do this. I don't qualify for financial aid, so I must go out of my way to figure out how the fuck I'm going to pay for this. Can you feel the anger in my words?

Then I calm down. I look back at the things I've accomplished and I give myself a pat in the back. Then I feel like a narcisit and I start to bring myself down again. Sometimes I think I'm depressed. Sometimes I think I'm just over analyzing shit. Other times I stay in bed and don't want to wake up and face the problems.

But if I didn't have it this hard, maybe I wouldn't appreciate things the way I do. It's easy to take things for granted when they are handed to you. Without much work. Without much worth.

I know I'm rambling here, but I was about to have a nervous break down. I'll try not to think about the situation much and focus on the fundraiser. My mind is going tick, tock, tick, tock. Fuck it. I must get up and move then.

Budget Closure Day aka first furlough day

"Due to state budget reductions, California State University, Long Beach will be closed August 13, 2009. Most facilities will be closed to increase cost savings through energy savings. Summer session classes and summer camps will be held as scheduled. For additional information regarding what will be closed or open on August 13, call for prerecorded information on the CSULB State Budget Closure Day Information Hotline, 562-985-8080."
-CSULB's website on Aug. 13

Well, thank God for the Raza center. Otherwise, Claudia and I would have been without computer access.

Everything is closed today. Brothman Hall. The Horn Center. The libary. In other words, every single place that is extremely necessary to use just week before school starts. But I see they're fixing the fountain. Maybe new lights. Who knows? That big ASI, Inc. logo by the University Student Union also looks cute. Wonder how much they're paying for that?

This is only the first of 11 furlough days the school will be having in order to "accommodate nearly half of the campus’ $42 million budget reduction from last year."

To quote CSULB's President F. King Alexander in a Press-Telegram article, his indeed looks like a ghost town. Now, back to trying to raise money for Claudia's and my tuition.

How to live without a laptop/desktop/working phone

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the U.S. who does not own a computer. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's 2009 and I do not own a computer. By the way, when I say ladies and gentlemen, I really mean Gustavo and Tina. You guys are the only ones who read my blog.

Of course I'm being dramatic here. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person without a computer. Times are tough and people are having to decide between paying for rent, gas or Internet. Somehow, I've managed to live without a computer and have not died.

Now, to be able to live without Internet, you must be willing to share certain information with your friends. Whether is school work or someone who has gotten a hold of my business card and wants to hire a cartoonist, there are times when I must check my e-mail. It's up to you to decide who in your circle of friends is trust worthy to acquire your e-mail password. Will it be a) the friend who tends to reveal secrets when inebriated, b) the friend who you know will blackmail you if you don't let them borrow money or c) the friend who drinks but won't blackmail you.

My friend Tina has literally become my personal secretary without pay. Poor thing, I've called her one too many times for "internet help." The person whom you chose to check your e-mail
will have access to your e-mail account. Be sure you make the right choice.

Now, if your thing is "privacy" and you're not like me, there's always the public library. I don't own a public library card, but I hear they have internet access. I do however go to a public university, and it is here where I do a lot of my writing, blogging and Photoshoping. Like the public library, the school's own library and computer lab have a set schedule. I've set my own schedule to fit the computer lab's. Though I'm not enrolled in summer school, I'm still technically a student so I have the right to use the lab.

That's pretty much it. Sorry if this doesn't help you much. Now I have to go and try to get a new/borrowed phone. My Metro PCS phone's battery is a mess and I cannot actually talk on the phone. So if you're trying to get a hold of me, texting will be easier!

Reed is the word

Since May, fees for the CSU system have raised 32%! Well, I'm fucked. Oh wait, how selfish of me: WE'RE ALL FUCKED!

Last week's protest outside California State University Chancellor Charles Reed's office was a clear message of how all students agree about this fucked of a situation. Though I wasn't allowed to use such beautiful language for the piece I wrote for the Daily 49er, every single student I spoke to shared the same feeling. With more swearing than me of course.

Starting next fall, I'm going to have to fork over an extra $672 if I want to enjoy full-time rights. I've applied for two scholarships and I've yet to begin saving the $100 I promised myself I'd hold on to from every summer paycheck.

Peter Kreysa, California Faculty Association treasurer for the CSULB chapter, told me that this is a sign that the Legislature has lost sight of the 1961 CSU Master Plan and its promise to create educated leaders for the job market. It's all about the dough now. The dough that this state ows and the toll it's taking on us, the "leaders of tomorrow."

Worst of all is that "as of July 6, 2009, CSU campuses are no longer accepting applications for the 2010 winter and spring terms." We're in, but what about our little primos and primas that are currently in high school? Now they're really fucked!

Chancellor Reed wants to believe that all college students go through the same experiences (his spokesperson told me that students whose parents make over $75,000 a year won't feel the fee hikes too much). I've got plenty of friends whose parents barely make a little bit over the minimum wage and soley depend of financial aid. Did I mentioned AB 540 students who don't qualify for governmental financial aid and must pay out of their own pocket?

For students like myself who must worry about helping out at home and stick to a job they despise, it could be too easy to fall off the wagon and quit. Too easy. These thoughts have navigated my mind lately and it's hard to shake them off.

But I also know that my compulsive behavior to finish what I start won't let me quit this whole college thing. As God and this CSULB Apple computer is my witness, I shall graduate next Spring.

Photo by Claudia Ramirez

Inspired by Richard Wright's "Black Boy"

The heat surrounding the Chipotle employees and customers is enough to bring the worst in all of us. That damn AC we've been hooked on isn't working properly so we only have our hands to fan ourselves.

I drag myself to clean all of the tables in between ringing customers up. That damn heat getting the best of me. I've been sick all week and this is the last place where I want to be.

"What are you guys laughing at?" I aske my superior and another co-worker when they mysteriously stop giggling upon my arrival from cleaning tables.

"At your 4-hour career as a cashier today," my superior says.

I toss the rag under the register and lean against the brand new metal-top table. For some reason that I can only blame on the heat, I flip out.

"Well at least I'm not making a career out of Chipotle," I reply.

I feel bad. Their suspicions that I think I am better than they are because I'm attending a university suddenly become a reality.

"Don't forget to clean the bathrooms before you clock out," is the only reply I get.

I want to apologize to them. To tell them that they too can manage to get a college education while working there. But I stay quiet and don't say a word. My face burning with shame.

These co-workers of mine have been working there around the same time I have and they've already moved on to managerial positions. I, on the other hand, have passed up the offers to become a manager for fear of getting stuck there.

I constantly think about it, but I never mention it out loud for fear of sounding like an asshole. Though I think it's too late now.

If I'm reading a book or a newspaper, they say I'm just showing off. That I ought to think about my reality and get that promotion before it's too late. What's the point, they say, you're not even going to be able to use your college degree once you graduate.

They're probably right. But at least I can say I try. I'm booking Ceci Bastida for Gustavo's show tomorrow for God's sake. I'm a show-off prick for being proud of my humble success?

I swallow my pride and knock at the women's bathroom. I spray degreaser all over the sinks and clean until I can see my reflection on the metal sinks. I look at myself in the mirror. I look exhausted. Sweat dripping from my pimply forehead.

I clock out and walk out under the damn heat. Hoping that everything will be just fine.